


You Won't Know Where You Stand

by GameForDays



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/F, Love/Hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 11:25:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11713437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GameForDays/pseuds/GameForDays
Summary: Alex's sister Hope is dating Kelley, who happens to be related to the person she hates the most. Or so she thinks.I posted this on Wattpad a while ago and now I'm transferring all my work here.





	You Won't Know Where You Stand

_Cause I got issues_  
_But you got 'em too_  
_So give them all to me_  
_And I'll give mine to you_  
_Bask in the glory of all our problems_  
_Cause we got the kind of love it takes to solve them_

_Yeah I got issues_  
_And one of them is how bad I need you_

"Yeah I'm turning this off," the blue-eyed brunette rolled her eyes as she changed the station.

"Dude that was my jam, what the hell Alex?"

"You know I can't stand her," she grumbled, her hand tightening on the steering wheel.

"What did Tobin Heath ever do to you?"

"I just hate her personality, Syd. Please put on something else. Anything. Rihanna, Beyonce, just not Tobin Heath," she gagged.

"Whatever," the light skinned girl mumbles.

They were headed to her sister's house for small get together. A lot of their childhood friends would be there, as well as Kelley, Hope's girlfriend, and her sister and some of their friends. Alex had personally never met the girl that captured her icy siblings heart, but anyone that could turn her intimidating older sister into a ball of mush was worth meeting.

When they arrived the apartment was packed, though granted it wasn't a very large place. She immediately spotted Hope with her arm around a short, freckled woman. Sydney branched off to greet Allie and her husband Bati, Ashlyn, Christen, and Julie and her husband Zack, while Alex went to go greet the couple. In the living room, people were nearly stacked on top of each other cause of the lack of space.

"Hey baby sis," the older sibling grins as they hug. "Meet my girlfriend, Kelley O'Hara. Kelley, this is my sister Alex."

"It's so nice to meet you, Kelley. And I'm 25. Not a baby ," she playfully punched her sister arm.

Hope rolls her eyes. "Kell, why don't you introduce Alex to everyone while we wait for your sister."

For a while everything was running smoothly. Both of the groups meshed well as if they'd known each other forever. Kelley's friends, Kling and Pinoe, were wild and funny. Ali was a little more reserved. It was painfully obvious that Ashlyn had a crush on her. Those two hardly spoke to anyone but each other, off in their own private little corner. Allie, Pinoe, Julie, Christen, Sydney, and Kling took up all the spaces on the love seat and sofa, getting into conversations about everything from music to politics. Zack, Bati, Kyle (Ali's brother), and Hope were discussing sports off in another corner. Kelley and Alex were chatting happily in Hope's kitchen while making drinks for everyone when the doorbell rang.

"Finally the pizzas here," the freckled woman sighs in relief. "Its been way more than 30 minutes I swear." She makes a move to answer the door but Alex stops her.

"I've got it," the blue eyed woman states, volunteering to pay.

"You sure?"

"Yup." She walks around the corner to the front door and opens it. "How much do I owe you?" she asks, opening up her wallet, but not looking up.

"It's on the house," a smooth voice says. Alex looks up and sees a woman not much older than her balancing ten boxes of pizza in one had. Next to her is a caramel skinned guy covered in tattoos. The light-haired brunette stares at her with soft eyes and a crooked smile. She recognizes her immediately and scowls.

"Great. Thanks. Bye." She snatches the boxes from the woman and slams the door in her face. The doorbell rings again but she ignores it. "Come eat everyone!"

There's a chorus of 'I'm starving's mixed in with a couple of curious 'who is at the door's. Sydney sends her best friend a curious look, but the blue eyed woman just shrugs, grabbing three slices of pepperoni and a margarita.

"How much do I owe you sis?"

"Pizza chick said it was free," she told the 28 year old with her mouth full.

"Is that who's knocking at the door?" Alex shrugged once again, continuing with her face stuffing. Hope rolls her eyes and goes to the door so the incessant knocking can stop. Kelley is by her side.

"Tobs!" the freckled woman squeals happily as she lunges forward and hugs the woman.

"Hey Kell, sorry I'm late," she apologizes. "You must be Hope. I'm Tobin, it's cool to meet you."

"Likewise. Please, come in." The couple ushers her and her friend in the apartment. Alex sits at the in confusion. Why in the hell is Tobin Heath at her fucking _sister's_ apartment and how the hell does Kelley know her? That's what she gets for not doing background checks on her sister's significant others.

"Everyone," Kelley begins, as everyone turns their attention to her. "This is my sister Tobin and her friend Dom Dwyer. Tobin, you've already met my friends. Meet Allie, Bati, Julie, Zack, Christen, Sydney, and Hope's sister Alex."

The brunette's blue eyes widen at this news. Sister? Just her luck. The person that she couldn't stand the most on this entire planet happened to be her sister's girlfriend's sister.  Sydney bursts out laughing at her best friend's predicament. Allie is trying to nudge the tattooed mixed girl, but she's too busy dying of laughter. Most of everyone in the room is confused, wondering why Sydney was rolling on the floor and Alex's face was as red as the pepperonis on her pizza.

"Okaaay," Hope says slowly. "Well everyone grab some pizza, and Kelley and Alex made drinks."

"We brought Cards Against Humanity."

"Oh fuck yes. Tobin, you and I are going to be great friends," Ash said stepping forward, throwing an arm around the girl's shoulder.

Through the evening, everyone seemed to be having fun except for Alex. Tobin Heath just being in the room ruined her whole mood. The worst part was everyone was her friends were talking to the woman like they'd known each other for years. Especially Sydney. God she was practically throwing herself on Dom. Hope called her out for being a party pooper and Sydney just laughed in her face again, being the only one that knew she despised the singer. Multiple times Tobin had tried to talk to her, but she just brushed her off, occupying herself with more pizza and alcohol.

"Thanks for being so cool about me being here," Tobin addressed the group. "I never met so many genuine people in one room. Most of the time people just want my money or want to make themselves famous," she admits. Alex rolls her eyes. _She's so full of shit_.

"Tobin, what's your favorite thing about being a celebrity?" Allie asks.

"Believe me, there are more cons than pros. Everyone is always in your business, trying to find out your secrets, manipulating you for profit. But the best thing about it is making a difference in someone's life. There's so many people that look up to you, and the pressure can be intense, but its so worth it making every last one of them smile."

 _Bull_.

"What's your favorite song of yours?"

"None of my old stuff," she snorts. "The label wanted me to have this image, but I hated it. None of my songs had substance."

"Got that right," Alex murmurs. No one seems to hear it but Tobin. Their eyes connect, hate meeting confusion. _Jesus what have I done to this woman?_ Tobin wonders.

""do re mi" is a tune though!" Pinoe exclaims.

" _do re mi fa so fucking done with you girl_ ," she sings, following it with an eye roll. "Come on."

"Hey its relatable," Kling points out, making  the group chuckle.

Tobin shakes her head. "My next album will be a better reflection of myself."

"Oh so calling women bitches, and songs about sex, drugs, and alcohol weren't a reflection of the _real_ Tobin Heath?" Alex asked challengingly. Everyone's eyes widen at her.

"Like I said, the label wanted me to have an image that I hated. I've got more artistic freedom now."

"Sure," the brunette snorts.

An awkward silence engulfs the room briefly. Hope is giving her sister a deadly look. It clearly says 'stop being a bitch'. Alex feigns innocence.

"Ahem, anyways. You should play something, Tobs," the black-haired women says. _So they're on a nickname basis now?_

"Uh...I don't wanna impose or anything..."

Everyone in the room, minus Alex of course, assures her that she isn't. They keep prodding her on until she finally agrees. She rushes outside to her car to retrieve her guitar, but not before making eye contact with Alex again, whose ass has been glued to the stool at the island for a good two hours now.

"So...any requests?" Tobin asks as she returns to the room.

"Leave."

"Huh?"

"Hahah, she's joking. How about some stuff from your new album?" Sydney encourages, throwing a look over her shoulder towards the bitter brunette.

"That's not releasing for another month..." Tobin says slowly. Family or not, she'd get any in trouble if any of her stuff released before the label said so. Still, wanted to impress Kelley's girlfriend and friends. And this blue-eyed brunette that obviously wishes she was dead. "Alright, I'll play a few," she gives in. "I wanted to surprise you Kelley, but I guess now is as good of a time as any."

She begins to strum the guitar that she's had since she was 15 years old. Besides her phone, its probably the one other thing she carries around the most. Honey eyes make their way towards the brunette one last time, before glancing at her sister. The freckled woman is giving her an encouraging smile as she clings to hope.

Tobin opens her mouth and lets her emotions pour out into the song.

... _Everyone has to find their own way_  
_And I'm sure things will work out okay_  
_I wish that was the truth_  
_All we know is the sun will rise_  
_Thank your lucky stars that you're alive_  
_It's a beautiful life_

_Will you call me to tell me you're alright_  
_Cause I worry about you the whole night_  
_Don't repeat my mistakes_  
_I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside_  
_If you're home I just hope that you're sober_  
_Is it time to let go now you're older_  
_Don't leave me this way_  
_I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside_

_If you make the same mistakes_  
_I will love you either way_  
_All I know is that I can't live without you_  
_There is nothing I can say_  
_That will change you anyway_  
_Darling, I could never live without you_  
_I can't live, I can't live..._

Alex is doing her best to keep up her cold facade, but there's no denying that the song is good. It's fantastic actually. And the fact that it's for the woman's sister makes it that much more admirable and the blue-eyed woman hates that.

When Tobin finishes, Kelley is in tears and the entire room applauds. The freckled woman rushes over to hug her sister, placing wet kiss on her cheek.

"That was amazing!"

Almost bashfully, as if the singer had never had thousands of people cheering for her let alone 15, she ducks her head, nodding her thanks.

"Okay, the next song is called 'Searching for a Feeling'."

_You shouldn't love me_  
_Don't waste your time_  
_I'm way too fucked up to feel_  
_Go find somebody_  
_Who's just as kind_  
_I'm mean and shallow, you see_

_What I heard 'round here confirmed my fears_  
_You see yourself in my arms_  
_Girl you won't get far with my cold, cold heart_  
_Can't give you something I can't find_

_I'll be searching for a feeling_  
_Haven't found it yet_  
_Hope I don't regret it_  
_I'll be searching for a feeling_  
_I've got every reason to feel_  
_Tell me you want me_  
_Tell me you need me to love you_  
_I'll be searching everywhere_  
_Tell me you want me_  
_Tell me you need me to love you_  
_I'll be searching everywhere..._

"Shit," Alex curses underneath her breath. This song is just as great as the last. Why is this Tobin Heath nothing like the one she expected? She still has a very good reason why she hates her, but as far as personalities go, she's been extremely likable all night.

_...Back and forth now I'm feelin' guilty_  
_Cause I just can't stop this pendulum in my head_  
_Though I know that our time is ending_  
_I'd rather lay forever right in this bed_

_And I keep waiting like you might change my mind_  
_Give me one more night_

_Who wrote the book on goodbye?_  
_There's never been a way to make this easy_  
_When there's nothing quite wrong but it don't feel right_  
_Either your head or your heart, you set the other on fire_

And Kling was right. All the songs were extremely relatable. _Damn you Meghan_.

_We fell from the peak_  
_And the stars, they broke their code_  
_I'm tryin' to forget_  
_How I landed on this road_  
_I'm caught in between_  
_What I wish and what I know_  
_When they say that you just know..._

Tobin clears her throat after she finishes the song. Everyone caps again, for the like the 5th time tonight. She sets her guitar down, but no one is having it.

"Okay one last song. I should really get going soon." It was nearly ten o clock. "I've got some promotional things to attend to in the morning. And I promised Brianna I'd go surfing with her tomorrow."

Ashlyn's ears perk up. "Woah pause. Brianna? As in Brianna Cope, professional surfer?"

"Well yeah," Tobin shrugged nonchalantly. "We go way back. Kell, you're still coming with us right?"

"Duh."

"Anyone else is welcome to join."

"Dude I'm so in." Great. Tobin and Ash are officially bros now.

"Great," the singer grins before adjusting her guitar. Alex hates how white her teeth are and how pretty her smile is. God it lit up the fucking room.

_I woke up to another mess in the living room_  
_Broken bottles all around my feet_  
_They came again in the night under crescent moon_  
_Didn't wake me in my sleep_

_'Cause they talk and drink and laugh 'bout things_  
_And fall in love in my backyard_  
_I hide and cower in the corner_  
_Conversation's getting hard_

_'Cause nobody seems to ask about me anymore_  
_And nobody seems to care 'bout anything I think_  
_And nobody seems to recognize me in the crowd_  
_In the background screamin', "everybody, look at me"_

_And I'm faded away, you know, I used to be on fire_  
_And I'm faded away, you know, I used to be on fire_  
_I'm standin' in the ashes of who I used to be_  
_And I'm faded away, you know, I used to be on fire_  
_You know, I used to be on fire_  
_You know, I used to be on fire, fire..._

Alex walks out of the apartment way before she even finishes the song. There's a trash bag full of paper plates and plastic cups so she decides to take them to the dumpster. She's so freaking irked and she can't even begin to explain why a spoiled brat like Tobin Heath hanging out with her friends is bothering her _this_ much.

The blue-eyed woman finds her car and leans against it, taking deep breaths. Her skin was crawling and she hated the feeling. Looking to her right, she sees an expensive car. Some BMW she's never seen in real life and she already knows who it belongs to. It would seem she couldn't escape Tobin for shit.

"You don't like me very much," stated a voice behind her, matter-of-factly.

"I'm glad you figured that out."

"I'm just not exactly sure what I did to you."

"Well I'm not going to entertain you with an answer."

"Alex is it? Look. I'm sure you don't like me because of what you hear from the media and read in tabloids, but you don't know me at all."

"I know enough," the brunette says stubbornly.

"Whatever I've done to you, I deserve a chance to redeem myself. Come to the beach with us tomorrow..."

"Okay well let me take you out one day."

"I don't want to get to know you, okay? So why don't you just drive off in your fancy car and stay out of my life."

Tobin stares at her for a long time, analyzing her. Admittedly it's making Alex nervous and she hates that. She hates everything.

"Alright. Have a good night."

Alex watches as the singer gets into an old jeep. It's not exactly vintage but it sure isn't new. There's a hula girl on her dashboard and fuzzy dice hanging from her rear view mirror.

_Fuck is there one thing that I can be right on tonight?_

[. . .]

The next day, Tobin finds herself surfing with Dom, Kyle, Allie, Ashlyn, her sister, and Brianna. They're all good people, and extremely chill and nice. They treated her like she was normal which she really appreciated that. Perhaps the person who treated her the most normal was Alex in a twisted way. It was better to have someone genuinely hate her than be super nice to her in her face.

"Wait, so this girl was a bitch to you the whole night?" Brianna chuckled.

"Yup. I'm pretty sure if I was bleeding to death in front of her, she'd let me."

"Ouch. But was she hot?"

Past the glares and cold eyes, there was no denying that Alex was gorgeous. She was tan, toned, and curvy just like any model. And Tobin could bet that when those blue eyes were gazing at you with anything other than hate that it would be like staring into an ocean.

"She's beautiful," the singer affirmed.

"Hey man, don't take it personal. She's been a little uptight ever since her boyfriend died," Ashlyn informed. "He was killed by a drunk driver a few years ago."

Kelley and Tobin make eye contact, the former paling noticeably.

"Woah Kell you're looking a bit green, since when do you get sea sick?" Dom asked obliviously.

"I don't. I'm gonna head back to shore," she said solemnly, paddling away.

Everyone turns to Tobin. Out do the corner of her eye she sees a wave forming. "Dibs," she mutters, not wanting to deal with any questions.

**[. . .]**

"I just can't believe that Hope is dating her sister of all people! She puts up this front like she's saint, but she's really just an entitled, ignorant brat."

It was Saturday and that meant Alex was helping her parents in the family flower shop. For a solid hour now, she'd been going on and on about how much she couldn't stand Tobin Heath. The older couple found it amusing, because for as long as they could remember, their daughter had never come across single person she detested.

"I'm not understanding, sweetie. Your friends like her and so does your sister? Do you think that maybe you're being a bit harsh on her?" Her mother asked. Standing at a few inches shorter than her daughter, they shared the same bright blue eyes

"Nope. I always trust my gut," the 25 year old huffs as she snips thorns off of some red roses. 

"Well my gut is telling me to get steak," her father bellows. "Can you handle the shop while your mother and i get lunch?"

"Sure thing. You two kids have fun," she joked.

Moments later, Alex hears chimes, signalling that a customer had entered the shop.

"Welcome to Morgan Florists, I can help you in one sec," the blue-eyed woman stated as she was finishing up the roses.

"I'm afraid its rather urgent," a voice said. Alex recognized it immediately. "You see, I need a flower that says 'I'm sorry you hate me, but if you give me a chance I promise you'll hate me less'."

"That flower doesn't exist. Sorry."

Alex turns around, cocking a hip to the side and crossing her arms. What the hell was up with this chick? Why couldn't she just have a Tobin Heath-free existence?

"How did you find me?"

"I had a little help. Can we talk?"

"Pass."

"Please Alex."

The door chimes against, signalling a real customer had actually walked in. It was an old woman, probably 80 years old. She barely stood at five feet due to her hunch and she needed a cane to help her walk.

"I have a customer, so if you don't mind." Tobin pursed her lips, nodding reluctantly.

She watched the way Alex handled the woman. So gentle, patient, and kind to a woman she didn't even know. Yet she herself wasn't awarded the same luxury.

"My granddaughter is getting married this afternoon," the cute old woman informs.

"Congratulations," she replies enthusiastically. "I have just the flowers." She moves around the shop, picking up some blue-ish purple flowers, red ones, and some white ones.

"Eh lame. Those yellow polka dot ones look pretty dope though. You know what else would be dope? An afternoon with me."

"Blue irises, red tulips, and white dendrobium orchids. The perfect wedding gift."

"Once you get to know the real me, I'm sure you'd change you mind about how you feel," Tobin tried, stepping towards the working woman.

She received a less than amused look. Alex points to the corner of the shop that puts the most distance between them. With a huff, the singer obediently goes to stand there. "I've got no desire to know the real you. Can I get you anything else ma'am?"

"These look wonderful. How much do I owe you?"

"They're on the house," Tobin speaks up from her timeout spot, sneakily tossing two Benjamins on the counter. "I've got it covered, ma'am."

The old woman beams at the singer. "Well aren't you a sweetheart." She then turns to Alex. "Oh darling, give the girl a chance."

"Yeah darling, give the girl a chance," the honey-eyed woman smirks.

 _Ugh damn you old lady. Two on one_. "Fine. You get one afternoon," the dark-haired brunette gives in before retreating to the stock room with a roll of her eyes. Tobin smiles brightly, doing an awkward happy dance. She kisses the old woman on her cheek before skipping out of the door and into her jeep.

[. . .]

"You know you can glare at the side of my face all you want, I'm still not telling you where we're going."

Alex huffed in defeat. It was Sunday afternoon and instead of watching movies with her family, she was out with Tobin Heath, about to do God knows what. They'd been driving for an hour now, with no sign of stopping.

 _"In a matter of time you'll be mine. Into my arms not just in my mind."_

This was probably the third song that Tobin tried singing to her. The first two were on the radio, by two artists she nearly hated as much as the woman she was riding in a jeep with. The next one was obviously original because the woman sang it without any music, and Alex didn't recognize it. 

_"I've been wasting my time,contemplating the lines to say. And your sister, she told me you've been lonely. She told me, she told me you're looking for somebody,and I just found it funny cause so am I!_ " The singer belted. 

"I am not lonely!"

"Who said the song was about you?" Tobin smirked. Alex blushed a deep red, one she achieved often out of anger when she was around the celeb. Now she'd officially been stumped. "Are you single?"

"Who wants to know?"

The singer raises her hands in surrender. "Innocent question. I promise I won't go running my mouth to TMZ," she joked, but pouting slightly when Alex didn't so much as crack a smile.

"Yes," she finally answered. "But not by choice." The honey-eyed woman thought back to what Ashlyn told her. That her boyfriend was killed a few years ago. She could see the pain behind her eyes. How thick her walls were. She felt for the woman.

"So how old are you? I know you're younger than Hope, but that's about all I got."

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to ask a woman her age?"

"My mother passed away when I was young. And my step-mother didn't like me all that much, so no."

Oh. It was then that Alex realized they did have at least _one_ thing in common. They both lost someone. "I just turned 25."

"Cool, I'm 27. What do you do besides work in the family flower shop?"

"I teach 10th grade Civics at a local high school."

"And do you love it?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you love it? I mean it seems silly to be doing something that you don't love. I love to sing. Even if I wasn't with a label or didn't have any fan base, I'd still be singing," Tobin shrugged nonchalantly. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Alex bite her bottom lip, which immediately told her that the answer was no. "I get it."

"You don't get anything."

"Whatever reason you're not pursuing your dream, its nothing to be ashamed of."

"Just stop talking."

She couldn't lie. The constant hostility from Alex was beginning to weigh on her. She began wondering what the hell she was even doing. Tobin just wanted to be friends...or more...with the woman, but how could she do that when she could barely get a word out without a sigh of irritation or disgust?

"I have one more question."

"Please don't-"

"Why don't you like me?"

"Why do you care so much? Haven't had haters before?"

"Plenty. In the media, former friends, completely strangers online. But those people aren't my sister's girlfriend's sister. And I really want to get to know you."

Alex doesn't say anything, and when it's apparent that she has no plans on speaking up, Tobin chooses to keep her mouth shut as well. She speeds up her car slightly, to quicken their journey and make the car ride less awkward. 

In twenty minutes they pull up to a rehabilitation center. There's not many cars in the parking lot so its easy to find a spot near the door. Tobin gets out first and opens the door for Alex, who gives an almost inaudible 'thank you'. The signer leads them inside towards the west wing, seemingly on a mission.

"Hey Tobin," a young woman at a desk greets. "How are you?"

"Hey Jenny, doing well thanks. How's little Jason?"

"Finally on a decent sleep schedule. Who's this?"

Giving the woman her million dollar smile, Tobin ushers her less than enthusiastic companion forward. "This is my friend Alex. I brought her with me to see Jamie."

"Nice to meet you. You know where to find him. Have fun!"

The singer opens the door to Room 127, motioning for the teacher to go in first. In the bed on the right wall is young boy not much older than 18, propped up by a mountain of pillows, watching a soccer game intently. Alex studies him.

His hair is long, blonde, and shaggy. There's a few fleshy pink scars covering his arms and face. He's not strapped up to any medical equipment so she guesses whatever accident he had was long ago. 

"Who's winning?" He looks up, his hazel eyes shining.

"Tobs! You're back!" The singer reaches over and squeezes him in a tight hug.

"Yup! I'm sorry I couldn't come see you last week. There's lot of crap to deal with in this music stuff."

"It's okay, Kelley came in and said hi," he shrugged. His eyes moved over to the silent blue-eyed brunette that stood motionless by the door. "Who's this? Girlfriend?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

"She's wishes," she whispers to him, knowing that Alex could still hear her.

"I heard that Heath. I'm Alex," the teacher introduces herself. 

"Cool to meet you Alex, I'm Jamie."

The singer and the young teen get to talk animatedly, pretty much ignoring. Alex watches them with curiosity. They interact with each other like they've been best friends for longer than the kid has even been alive. She doesn't know if its rude, but she can't help but wonder what happened to him that put him in this rehab facility. Besides the scars, there are noticeable differences in his body from the average teen. For one, he's incredibly skinny. Also there's a bend to his arm that says that it doesn't function right. And Alex can't see underneath his blankets, but since he only moves his body from the waist up, she can guess that his legs don't function quite right either.

Deciding not to stare anymore, she decides to look around the room. His is different from all the others they passed in the corridor. His walls are painted black and there's posters scattered all over the wall. His bed sheets are blue and green, compared to the bland white ones everyone else has. There are also two guitars in the corner of the room, as well as a fancy gaming laptop by his bedside.

On the desk in by the door she sees a newspaper clipping. The headline reads: **Singing Sensation Paralyzes Innocent Teen.** Alex remembers the clips on E!News and TMZ, back when she was stupidly engrossed in celebrities and how they lived their lives.

_Singer-songwriter Tobin Heath was photographed at the scene of a messy car crash on Friday evening. It would seem that the global superstar, in another act of carelessness and rebellion, crashed her Lamborghini into an oncoming vehicle, going nearly 30 miles over the speed limit. Inside, was 16 year old high school student Jamie Sanchez. Officials are saying that she was intoxicated when the collision happened. The accident left the teen paralyzed from the neck down. In a coma, if he ever wakes up he may never be able to walk again._

Alex looks up from the paper to see Tobin glancing solemnly at her. The singer had guessed that the contents of that article was the exact reason the brunette hated her, especially after what Ashlyn confessed, and after seeing the disgust on her face, she knew she was correct. 

"Hey bud, I'm gonna go get a Milky Way from the vending machine, you want one?"

"Do the vending machines happen to have steak?"

"Afraid not."

"Damn. Yeah I guess a chocolate bar will do then."

Tobin refuses to make eye contact with Alex. She thinks about asking the woman if she wants anything briefly, but ultimately decides against it.

"I don't know why they keep that article around man. It's old news. I guess its a reminder of what they don't want to be anymore. Kinda depressing, but whatever," he shrugged.

"They?"

"Tobin and Kelley."

"How long have they been visiting you?"

"Since the accident, so about two and a half years now. Actually Tobin visited first. It took Kelley a few months to come around. She beat herself up so much that she couldn't even look at me."

"I don't know how you can even be in the same room as her. My fiance was hit by a drunk driver and he was also paralyzed. He recovered fine, minus not being able to move his legs. He was a soccer player, and the thought of being confined to a wheelchair drove him nuts. I thought...I thought I could change his mind and show him that didn't matter to me what condition he was in, as long as we were together. But he was just so unhappy and there was no changing his mind. So he went through with assisted suicide." 

It was a story she told so little that she didn't know how much it would affect her now that it was out in the open. Tears rolled down her cheeks against her will.

"If I ever ran into the guy who did it..."

"You know Alex, people make mistakes. I wanted to hate her. It took me a while to cope with not being able to feed myself, or even move my fucking toe. I was in a dark place for a long time."

"Drunk driving isn't a mistake. It's a choice."

"That we can agree on. But I think if a person is actively trying to right their wrongs then there's something to say for that. Tobin paid for my medical bills and pushed for experimental medical treatments that helped me get where I am. Hired the best physical therapists in the world for me. She also donates about a million dollars a year to this center and to other prevention organizations. Kelley visits schools and speaks to teens about driving drunk, drug use, and all that jazz. She comes to see me twice a week. At first it was her guilt that brought her here. She had trouble sleeping..couldn't forgive herself-"

"Wait what does Kelley have to do with anything?"

"She was driving Tobin's car, Alex."

The brunette blinked. "What?"

"Tobin took the fall. Kelley was going through a rough time with her mom. She got into some really bad things. Met some sketchy people who convinced her to take Tobin's lambo joyriding. She was drinking but wasn't 21 yet. Kelley was looking at strike 3."

"T-Tobin took the blame for her sister? Even with her status?"

The blond boy shrugged. "She'd do anything for Kelley."

Before the woman could respond, Tobin burst through the door. "Okaaaay two Milky Ways, a Mountain Dew, and a bag of Doritos."

"Oh Tobs, you always spoil me," he chuckled.

"Hey what do you say we show Alex that song you wrote for Catherine."

Trying to snap out of her daze, the brunette puts on a fake smile. "Catherine your girlfriend?"

"Ex. She broke up with me cause having a disabled boyfriend was too much."

"Screw her."

"Yeah that's pretty much the premise of the song."

Tobin goes to the corner of the room and tosses the smaller of the two guitars to Jamie, who actually catches it pretty easily. 

_Fuck you and your high class friends_  
They wouldn't know the difference between love and sex  
And I wouldn't say intelligence is something they possess  
At least I haven't noticed in the time we've spent  
On the weekends when we pretend that we're something more than friends  
When we sleep in and it feels like how we feel we'll never end

 _And we pretend_  
We pretend  
We pretend  
We pretend

 _Fuck you and your new boyfriend_  
I bet he doesn't know the things that I know and  
I bet he doesn't know your hidden love for punk bands  
Or your infatuation with drunk romance  
Can we pretend that you leave him and we can be more than friends?  
We can return to how we were when we met

 _And we'll pretend_  
We'll pretend  
We'll pretend  
We'll pretend

 _Fuck you and what your parents say_  
I'm sorry that I doubted when you said that they're insane  
Cause they always said I don't know how to act my age  
They always said that I'm no good for you but hey  
Can we pretend on the weekend that we're maybe more than friends?  
We can sleep in all weekend again

 _And we'll pretend_  
We'll pretend  
We'll pretend  
We'll pretend  
Oh we'll pretend

The outro was a nice little repetitive melody. Tobin took the low notes while Jamie expertly took everything else. For a guy who didn't always have full control of his body parts, he played like a professional. 

For the first time in what felt like years, Alex had a genuine smile on her face. She clapped gleefully. She didn't know why but for some reason she was so proud of him. He'd come so far from being bed ridden to being able to play guitar and sing like a carefree teen.

"That was amazing! How long have you been playing?"

"When I regained feeling in my arms and hands, Tobin taught me how to play. She's great teacher."

"Oh please, you're just a natural. You could be the next Kurt Cobain!"

"Tobin, he killed himself," Alex interjected. "That's like worst comparison you could have made."

"Actually he was murdered," Jamie corrected. "We can discuss it the next time you stop by. You will stop by again right? It was kinda fun having you around. There's only so much Tobin and Kelley I can take."

"Hey!"

"If you want me to," she smiled. 

In the back of her mind, she knew that promise meant she'd be seeing more of Tobin, but the thought didn't bother her like she though it would. Maybe it was due to what she now knew about the singer. Alex spent all this time projecting her hatred of her fiance's killer towards anyone that was remotely carefree that she didn't give people enough credit for their ability to change or remain decent people.

As much as she hated to admit it, Tobin deserved an apology.

The duo played two more songs after that, then the two adults got ready to leave. The drive back was mostly silent, the teacher contemplating what to say and the singer doing the same. 

"I'm sorry. I misjudged you."

"It's okay."

"No, really. My behavior has been unacceptable."

"Alex, its fine."

"It's just when Servando died-"

"I know. Ashlyn told me. And I don't blame you. If I'd lost a significant other like that to someone who was as boneheaded as I was, I'd have behaved the exact same way."

The teacher sunk in her seat. "I didn't even know the whole story."

"Jamie told you?" Tobin asked. Out of her peripheral she sees a nod. "No hard feelings okay. But if you feel that bad, you can make it up to me with dinner. We can go out or I can cook for us, and you can tell me what you'd rather be doing than being a teacher, and give me music advice since mine doesn't have any substance."

Alex looks over at the singer to see if she's joking. She sees slightly chapped lips curve into a smirk. It actually gets her to smile.

"Deal."

 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Songs used in order of appearance.
> 
> 1\. "Issues" by Julia Michaels (a bop)  
> 2\. "do re mi" by blackbear (a fucking tune my guy)  
> 3\. "Safe Inside" by James Arthur (Ed who?)  
> 4\. "Searching For a Feeling" by Thirdstory (release your fucking album already ffs)  
> 5\. "The Other (Stripped) " by Lauv (I love stripped songs)  
> 6\. "Angel on Fire" by Halsey (Hopeless. Fountain. Kingdom. 13/10 flawless album)  
> 7\. "April" by Goody Grace (he's gonna be big just yall wait)  
> 8\. "Pretend" by Goody Grace (see above)  
> 9\. "You Won't Know Where You Stand" by Aquilo (used for the title, solid track)


End file.
